My Life as a Secretary

I wonder how it feels like to be a secretary.

SHOULD I ADD ANOTHER ARM, SIR?

Not the secretary of the government or secretary of school organizations. I’m talking ‘bout the secretaries of the big people. Like Tyra Banks, or the President of the United States, or Paris Hilton, or Bill Gates.

Yeah. I suppose I have a filled desk at the beginning of the day. Love letters, business letters, excuse letters, solicitation letters and maybe even death threats. Then, after I sort out the junk mail, I’ll have to reply each and every one. And I have to be a fast typer too. And, if my boss is really strict, he’ll tell me,”Sophia, I want this thing typed out, in a fancy green embroided envelope with a feather of a Haribon and ready to be sent out in 10 minutes, or you’re FIRED!!”

And I suppose I’ll be the one who will type out her PowerPoint presentations. The making of the slides, the transitions and the charts.

Glob, the charts. I’ll have to use Excel when I make the charts, so they look more real because I know, from experience, that chamba chamba of charts gets you into trouble (don’t ask me how I know; I ain’t going into that story). And, in my personal opinion, making charts are hard because Excel has the same size cells in neat rows that make my eyes want to pop out. 

And I’ll be the one making memos! I’ll have to type and write and copy paste my boss’s mark or motto, like maybe “Smize. You’re fierce!”. And when I get the date wrong, pople will follow it and waste their time for nothing. MUHAHAHA!! They just got punked!

Oh, and making documents, too! Sometimes, the people around are more than meets the eye.  If work for a spy or something, I’ll have to type in code names and “Level whatever Security” and watermarks. And maybe a “This letter will self-destruct in 3, 2, 1”. BOOM!!!

Hehehe. Just kidding. ;) Secretaries should have a sense of humor, too. Otherwise, they'd be really stressed out.